Another wedding... another goodbye.
Tonight I said farewell to my dear KC. I first met him in 1998. I remembered my friend and colleague MH introduced her two male friends to the bunch of us at a dinner in the summer or 1998. Clemence, the German/Austrian guy I had the biggest crush on (at that moment) was to decide which guy was the better dude. The winner, to him, was obviously KC. I begged to differ. I preferred GC then. It didn't matter cause we all took different paths. We kept in touch through the years, but I started to know KC a lot better in 2003 when we were both in business school in the US. I enjoyed our discussions and for the first time, I begun to appreciate him. He had a depth of soul and troubled heart that parallelled mine. I would even say he surpassed me in his strength of conviction, in how deep his emotions and reactions were. Ms. P used to tell me that she could only feel and understand 10% of all that I professed. I felt the same way about KC. But we connected. Or perhaps, I indulged him simply because he made me feel sane. Similarly, I think he enjoyed my company because he didn't feel so out of place bearing his soul to me.
I have lost touch with him for the past two years. He has been busy in China, and well, I have had my share of new life experiences. I wasn't sure how to react when I first met him this evening. But, he greeted me warmly and held my hand while apologizing for his lack of communication this past year. Halfway through the wedding, he introduced his wife to me. I remember meeting her four years ago in Shanghai when I was there for the Shanghai F1 GP. KC brought me out, entertained me and we hung out together that weekend. He only barely knew her then, and she specially came to say "Hi" to me at our dinner place because he mentioned that a friend from home was in town. I remembered that incident. I remembered feeling smug that he was "mine", and she was just a "foreigner". I didn't think he remembered that incident. But he did. As he introduced me, he mentioned that she had met me exactly four years ago in Shanghai. I was floored. Of course, she couldn't recollect the meeting, but it didn't matter. At that moment, I knew that I still mattered. And I was glad that there was some memory of the magical year we smoked tons of ciggies, got drunk together and talked till the wee hours of the morning. I was glad there was some memory of the numerous times we sat in the car listening to U2, roamed the streets in Boston and SF and laughed our asses off at the most inane things. It didn't just disappear into thin air.
My legacy lives on... Well, not legacy per se. For the greater part of this year, I was wondering that if I were to disappear from the face of the earth, whether there would be anything left that would indicate I had lived a life here. I was convinced the answer was "no". After all, I did not find a cure to cancer, become a racing legend or was as charitable as Mother Theresa. My friends are preoccupied with their significant others and family, so I couldn't imagine that any of my youthful exploits would count in their consciousness. But, this evening, I am feeling very blessed that when I least expect it, I am made aware that at least someone remembers. And that perhaps in more ways than one, I have left an indelible mark on all those that I have had the pleasure and privilege to be mates with. I have made my mark, and for that, it has been worth every bit of time, effort and love...
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