I have been contemplating this whole idea of the gender issue for a while. The U.S. has legalized same sex marriages, and yes, I'm seeing a lot more people of the same sex getting together and having good relationships.
So why is it that I still feel that some thing's not right? To be honest, I never thought too much about same sex relationships when I was younger. At 16, I moved to London to a music school and one of the teachers I respected was gay. He was a kind man. And, very helpful to new students from Asia, like myself. I would see him kiss his partner goodbye each morning when the guy dropped him off at school. It was kind of strange. But, you know, I was a musician then. It would be terribly wrong of me to think twice about two men kissing one another.
I am not here to condemn same sex relationships. I appreciate that two beings are able to form a connection with one another, to love one another. But, for me, the more I am exposed to same sex relationships, the more I question it. I question it because it is who I am. I've lived a life of pure emotion. I have committed fully to close friends and family. I know what it is to have an emotional bond with a friend of the same sex and I feel confident enough to say that what we have cannot be replicated. I have been there for a friend through good times and bad. And, some very very bad times indeed, plus more times of disapproval than could be imagined. But we have stuck together through thick and thin, and I know no matter what, we're bonded for life. Are we dating? Interestingly enough, we concluded that if we were to ever date, our personalities would drive one another up the wall. But beyond that, despite all the midnight confessions, we have never needed to turn to one another sexually. Which is why I don't believe in same sex relationships. A soul mate is some thing on its own. I thank my lucky stars each and everyday to have this blessing of a best friend that is my soul mate. Will she have an emotional connection with an amazing man that I could never be a part of? Of course! And, I would never begrudge that.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that emotional connections are one thing. We should all be glad and happy that there are people we can relate to, people that mean some thing. A desire to start a family and developing familial responsibilities can be and often are completely separate issues. It does not mean the commitments aren't equally deep, but they're just different commitments. I for one will not go against nature. So unless we evolve to become unisex creatures, I will not and cannot accept that two same sex folks are family ready or sexually ready. It isn't about me having gender issues. It just boils down to nature. For all those that think this is a stupid reason, well, seriously, Mother Nature never lies. Grow up.
4 comments:
What if you take the "family" (or desire for family) out of the equation?
Still leaves the sex issue, which I disagree. It goes against nature for two men (or two women) to have sex with one another.
It doesn't matter babe. You have your own right to think that sex relationships are right. And, I have my own right to think that same sex relationships are wrong.
what is and isn't natural is what you're trying to say here. Introducing right and wrong here takes it the discussion out of nature and into the realm of human morals.
Many things are unnatural: prescription drugs prevent diseases from running their natural course, but it isn't wrong to us. Hair dyes, clothing, birth control, etc. Even marriage itself isn't natural for our species. Men are meant to spread their seed as often and widely as possible.
There are animals both in the wild and in zoos that are observed to be homosexual. Explain that. You think they saw people do it first?
It seems that, for you, it all comes down to the 'ick' factor but you're open-minded enough to realize that just because you find it gross doesn't mean it should be disallowed. Kudos to you: sometimes it's hard to shake our gut reaction, but we can always use our heads to determine how fair our guts are.
negativeneil - I have to admit that my thoughts on this matter is constantly changing and evolving... as it should be. One thing I do hold constant is that any two people can have a real bond regardless of gender. That love transcends all of that.
I think the use of right and wrong in my previous comments is slightly misleading. I have no intention to put a moral spin towards it, but the words were used to express that I do not understand/accept sexual relationships between two people of the same gender. Perhaps it is the ick factor as you pointed out, but also probably because I cannot figure out how it works for my body parts. It is unnatural in that way for me. While I do accept that others would find it perfectly normal, I think it is unfair if people feel my reason for not being biological built that way as being ridiculous. Like you said, we use our heads to determine how fair our guts are. I would be hard pressed to find people who are of the same minds about anything, so I do expect a certain open-mindedness about all views.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and leaving an honest comment. I do appreciate differing opinions. The world would be such a boring place if everyone agreed on everything. :-)
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