Cynical? No. Realistic? Yes.

J's sister is 22 years old, and a second year university student in Melbourne. She recently began a serious relationship with a guy who's also studying in the same school. Before she returned to Melbourne, she confided that she hoped that he was "The One". We both looked on incredulously on hearing this.

"Once you finish your studies and start working, your life is going to change so much. He's not going to be "The One"." J warned her sister. I tried to soften the blow by adding "Whatever happens, happens. Don't think so much about the future, just enjoy your relationship..."

When she left, I looked at J and wondered if we were too cynical for twenty-somethings. J laughed it off, and we proceeded to rehash some of our old relationship stories with one another like giggling teenagers over drinks.

When I got home, I thought about why I felt the way I did when J's sister made her innocent statement about hoping the guy was "The One". I don't think I'm so much cynical as I am realistic. I remember all too well the intense feeling of a youthful budding romance, what it is to lose myself with someone. Heck, I still do that at this age. But, what has changed is that I don't expect these feelings to translate into anything permanent. After all these years, I've come to realize that love is just love. Marriage is some thing completely different. Marriage is about practicality. Social circumstances, family, even religion all come into play. For those who want children, many of them marry people they think will be good fathers or mothers, and it may not be the person that they're most in love with. Of course without some amount of love, marriage would be impossible. But it doesn't fall on the same page as what someone means when they're talking about "The One". There are definitely exceptions, but they are few and far between. And, no, I do not believe that twenty-somethings in university will find "The One" when their own lives and personalities are not fully formed yet.

I think what disturbed me most was the idea that falling in love always has to translate into something permanent. Don't people just fall in love these days? To care for someone, regardless of what the outcome would be? Is love now about expectations? I would like to think that it is still possible to love without a care, and to just enjoy the ride. Is that too much to ask?