There have been some events this week that have put the biggest grin on my face. The best part is, there will also be some events coming along at the end of the week that will make me smile and giggle in delight too!
This is turning out to be an awesome week. Will I divulge what's making me stay up late with all this gleeful energy? I can't get myself to bed right now cause I'm just filled to the brim with excitement! Oooooh-laaa-la. Hmm, I think I will keep this bit of excitement to myself right now. Tee hee hee.....
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Sunday, September 21, 2008
I said goodbye yet again
Another wedding... another goodbye.
Tonight I said farewell to my dear KC. I first met him in 1998. I remembered my friend and colleague MH introduced her two male friends to the bunch of us at a dinner in the summer or 1998. Clemence, the German/Austrian guy I had the biggest crush on (at that moment) was to decide which guy was the better dude. The winner, to him, was obviously KC. I begged to differ. I preferred GC then. It didn't matter cause we all took different paths. We kept in touch through the years, but I started to know KC a lot better in 2003 when we were both in business school in the US. I enjoyed our discussions and for the first time, I begun to appreciate him. He had a depth of soul and troubled heart that parallelled mine. I would even say he surpassed me in his strength of conviction, in how deep his emotions and reactions were. Ms. P used to tell me that she could only feel and understand 10% of all that I professed. I felt the same way about KC. But we connected. Or perhaps, I indulged him simply because he made me feel sane. Similarly, I think he enjoyed my company because he didn't feel so out of place bearing his soul to me.
I have lost touch with him for the past two years. He has been busy in China, and well, I have had my share of new life experiences. I wasn't sure how to react when I first met him this evening. But, he greeted me warmly and held my hand while apologizing for his lack of communication this past year. Halfway through the wedding, he introduced his wife to me. I remember meeting her four years ago in Shanghai when I was there for the Shanghai F1 GP. KC brought me out, entertained me and we hung out together that weekend. He only barely knew her then, and she specially came to say "Hi" to me at our dinner place because he mentioned that a friend from home was in town. I remembered that incident. I remembered feeling smug that he was "mine", and she was just a "foreigner". I didn't think he remembered that incident. But he did. As he introduced me, he mentioned that she had met me exactly four years ago in Shanghai. I was floored. Of course, she couldn't recollect the meeting, but it didn't matter. At that moment, I knew that I still mattered. And I was glad that there was some memory of the magical year we smoked tons of ciggies, got drunk together and talked till the wee hours of the morning. I was glad there was some memory of the numerous times we sat in the car listening to U2, roamed the streets in Boston and SF and laughed our asses off at the most inane things. It didn't just disappear into thin air.
My legacy lives on... Well, not legacy per se. For the greater part of this year, I was wondering that if I were to disappear from the face of the earth, whether there would be anything left that would indicate I had lived a life here. I was convinced the answer was "no". After all, I did not find a cure to cancer, become a racing legend or was as charitable as Mother Theresa. My friends are preoccupied with their significant others and family, so I couldn't imagine that any of my youthful exploits would count in their consciousness. But, this evening, I am feeling very blessed that when I least expect it, I am made aware that at least someone remembers. And that perhaps in more ways than one, I have left an indelible mark on all those that I have had the pleasure and privilege to be mates with. I have made my mark, and for that, it has been worth every bit of time, effort and love...
Tonight I said farewell to my dear KC. I first met him in 1998. I remembered my friend and colleague MH introduced her two male friends to the bunch of us at a dinner in the summer or 1998. Clemence, the German/Austrian guy I had the biggest crush on (at that moment) was to decide which guy was the better dude. The winner, to him, was obviously KC. I begged to differ. I preferred GC then. It didn't matter cause we all took different paths. We kept in touch through the years, but I started to know KC a lot better in 2003 when we were both in business school in the US. I enjoyed our discussions and for the first time, I begun to appreciate him. He had a depth of soul and troubled heart that parallelled mine. I would even say he surpassed me in his strength of conviction, in how deep his emotions and reactions were. Ms. P used to tell me that she could only feel and understand 10% of all that I professed. I felt the same way about KC. But we connected. Or perhaps, I indulged him simply because he made me feel sane. Similarly, I think he enjoyed my company because he didn't feel so out of place bearing his soul to me.
I have lost touch with him for the past two years. He has been busy in China, and well, I have had my share of new life experiences. I wasn't sure how to react when I first met him this evening. But, he greeted me warmly and held my hand while apologizing for his lack of communication this past year. Halfway through the wedding, he introduced his wife to me. I remember meeting her four years ago in Shanghai when I was there for the Shanghai F1 GP. KC brought me out, entertained me and we hung out together that weekend. He only barely knew her then, and she specially came to say "Hi" to me at our dinner place because he mentioned that a friend from home was in town. I remembered that incident. I remembered feeling smug that he was "mine", and she was just a "foreigner". I didn't think he remembered that incident. But he did. As he introduced me, he mentioned that she had met me exactly four years ago in Shanghai. I was floored. Of course, she couldn't recollect the meeting, but it didn't matter. At that moment, I knew that I still mattered. And I was glad that there was some memory of the magical year we smoked tons of ciggies, got drunk together and talked till the wee hours of the morning. I was glad there was some memory of the numerous times we sat in the car listening to U2, roamed the streets in Boston and SF and laughed our asses off at the most inane things. It didn't just disappear into thin air.
My legacy lives on... Well, not legacy per se. For the greater part of this year, I was wondering that if I were to disappear from the face of the earth, whether there would be anything left that would indicate I had lived a life here. I was convinced the answer was "no". After all, I did not find a cure to cancer, become a racing legend or was as charitable as Mother Theresa. My friends are preoccupied with their significant others and family, so I couldn't imagine that any of my youthful exploits would count in their consciousness. But, this evening, I am feeling very blessed that when I least expect it, I am made aware that at least someone remembers. And that perhaps in more ways than one, I have left an indelible mark on all those that I have had the pleasure and privilege to be mates with. I have made my mark, and for that, it has been worth every bit of time, effort and love...
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
It's official...
I'm destined to be with a German man. It is written in the stars. There is no use fighting against destiny.
Right. Anyway, I met yet another German man whilst out volunteering today. This is the fourth time I've spent the afternoon volunteering and the second time I had a German man accompany me. And this guy was oh-soooooo-darn-dashing. He was pure good looking and most irritatingly unassuming. I had to exercise utmost self-control and resist from reaching out and kissing him. I swear I almost hyperventilated when he bent his head down closer to me to hear what I had to say. He was like all the other German men I've had the pleasure to meet (throughout my life) in the way he carried himself - the quiet intelligence, the un-fussy way he dresses and his casual yet formal deportment. Swooon.... I was very sorry when we had to part ways. Seriously, why is it that I NEVER meet such amazingly good looking, well behaved men that I really get along with conversationally in the normal part of my life?
I have to admit, I'm excited to volunteer yet again. I suspect I may meet yet another German guy. I am mindful that these wonderful men are only here for the one trip. But hey, you never know, one of them might just fall head over heels in love with me and whisk me away to live happily ever after.....
Right. Anyway, I met yet another German man whilst out volunteering today. This is the fourth time I've spent the afternoon volunteering and the second time I had a German man accompany me. And this guy was oh-soooooo-darn-dashing. He was pure good looking and most irritatingly unassuming. I had to exercise utmost self-control and resist from reaching out and kissing him. I swear I almost hyperventilated when he bent his head down closer to me to hear what I had to say. He was like all the other German men I've had the pleasure to meet (throughout my life) in the way he carried himself - the quiet intelligence, the un-fussy way he dresses and his casual yet formal deportment. Swooon.... I was very sorry when we had to part ways. Seriously, why is it that I NEVER meet such amazingly good looking, well behaved men that I really get along with conversationally in the normal part of my life?
I have to admit, I'm excited to volunteer yet again. I suspect I may meet yet another German guy. I am mindful that these wonderful men are only here for the one trip. But hey, you never know, one of them might just fall head over heels in love with me and whisk me away to live happily ever after.....
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