Thursday, October 28, 2010

Husband or Lover?

Crossroads.

I never thought that when I prayed for someone to love and cherish me, I'll be thrown three men who are definitely looking to settle down, who seriously scare me a tad bit when they look at me. I want someone I want to love and cherish me. While those blokes are good lads and make sense on paper, I don't know if I'm quite there yet. I don't know if I want them.

Yet, it feels like an opportunity to be grasp. Can love be quantified as an opportunity though? They would make great husbands.... A lover? To me? I don't know.

I know it sounds completely selfish to say this, but I wish I didn't have these options. I know when I don't, I whine about the lack of options. But the emotional turmoil I've been in for the past few days has been overwhelming.

I need to stop exuding pheromones. For the third time in a week, a friend thrusts his tongue into my mouth as we said our goodbyes. I'm too polite to push him away. Actually, how does one react to being kissed by a friend whom one wants to keep?

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