Being alone... and an epiphany from a rabbi...

There must be something about being a girl alone. Like the other day in front of National Gallery, where an old man asked if I was OK because I looked pensive. I was actually there with someone who was sketching away, but I smiled and shook my head. And then there was the other time at a cafe when a Scot-American started chatting with me. He was lovely. He was an ex-fund manager that is now managing a small theatre in LA. I had tons of fun talking to him about art in the UK and in California.

And there was today. When I was seated quietly at one corner of another coffee joint, an elderly man with another male companion suddenly turned to me and asked "Are you OK my child? You look sad." I smiled, but could feel tears forming at the corners of my eyes and he continued "We have lots of time if you want to talk." He continued asking me questions, and I felt compelled to answer. A waitress looked at me to see if she should intervene but I was able to indicate otherwise.

It turns out he is a rabbi. And I poured my soul out. From how I felt I had ventured far from my own faith, to how I was emptied. I didn't know how to continue being myself, because I was hurt each and every time I cared and invested every effort I could muster. I didn't want to be petty, I didn't want to keep anything back for myself. But I felt that if I continued the way I was I would die of pain and hurt.

And he said, "You love. It is the most elusive thing in the world. It is obvious your circumstances allow you to give love so freely and so openly. It is a gift. I could tell from your smile earlier that there was a light about you. Don't stop. No one can extinguish that light. Keep on loving, even though it hurts."

"It's what makes you special.."